Adam Sandler’s Israeli-militant-hairdresser character obscenely spreads his legs, supporting himself across the invisible borders of a poster while inexplicably flying. Now you want to see it, right?

Beyonce is pregnant and that’s the reason why she “rushed” her wedding to Jay-Z. That’s what a source told Hollyscoop.

The source said, “Beyonce is 100% pregnant.” They claims Beyonce and Jay-Z got married so quickly because of her strong Christian beliefs.

I’m glad she’s 100% pregnant! Imagine if she was 25% pregnant? That would have been odd and very uncomfortable for her. And didn’t her Christian beliefs tell her it’s wrong to get it in the coot before marriage?

This is the thing, if it’s not wedding rumors, it’s baby rumors. If it’s not baby rumors, it’s break-up rumors. Rinse and repeat!

If Beyonce isn’t knocked up, she should really consider adopting a needy child. The needy child I’m talking about is Solange.

21-year-old Charles Fuller waltzed into a bank in Forth Worth, TX last week with a smile on his face and a check in his hand. Charlie (I feel like I can call him that) presented the bank teller with a check he wished to cash. The check was made out to him for $360,000,000,000.00. Yes, $360 billion.

The banker teller, being the genius that she is, excused herself to call the check holder. The check holder is the mother of Charlie’s girlfriend. She denied giving him a check, let alone a check for $360 billion.

Charlie was arrested. When police searched him, they found 2 ounces of weed and a gun. He was charged with fraud and also faces charges for unlawfully carrying a weapon and possession of marijuana.

Charlie told the police his girlfriend’s mother gave him the money to start a record label. Hmmm….he can call it Dumb Bitch Records!

Charlie should have been a little more realistic. He knew very well his girlfriend’s mother was a few dollars short of $360 billion. He should have scratched out her name and written KING TUT. I guarantee you the bank would have cashed it.

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are reportedly engaged. That is if you believe the monstrosity on her finger is an engagement ring. (Note: Not the Band-Aid. That would be too romantic.) MSNBC reports:

The couple sent the rumor mill into overdrive when 38-year-old Carey (with Cannon on her arm) was seen sporting a dazzling new piece of bling on her ring finger at the after party for her Tribeca film, “Tennessee,” in New York.
When asked at the party what he loved about Mariah, 27-year-old Cannon gave a one-word answer: “Everything,”

 

EDIT: TMZ is reporting that Nick gave Maria the same ring he gave his ex-fiancee. No one ever told me Nick Cannon is the slyest motherfucker on the planet! All I have to say is: SWISH!

Apparently Katie Holmes’ recklessness (according to her scientology fanatic husband) is getting out of hand, so crazy ass Tom Cruise signed her up for an intense three-day session of Scientology Boot Camp. Star reports:

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With their respective giant fighting robots and raunchy, immature humor, I assume without any fact-checking whatsoever that Transformers and Superbad were the teenage boy blockbusters of last year. It seems logical, right? So it only makes sense that the two would eventually merge, creating a teenage boy tractor beam the likes of which has only been seen in Star Trek pedophile fan-fiction. Now, according to Entertainment Weekly, they just might, with Superbad’s Jonah Hill in talks to join Transformers 2. What part is he up for? Chubby comic relief sidekick to Shia LaBeouf, of course!

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Patrick Dempsey have been named America’s sexiest TV stars. The two actors have claimed alternative covers of TV Guide’s Sexiest Stars issue and Love Hewitt’s onscreen husband in hit thriller Ghost Whisperer, David Conrad, is far from surprised she is the tops. He says, “In the three years that we’ve been filming, there’s always a moment when I just go, ‘Wow, that’s a really beautiful woman.’” Also making the new magazine hot list is Dempsey’s Grey’s Anatomy co-star star Justin Chambers, along with Vanessa Williams, Taye Diggs, Eva Longoria Parker and Lost bad boy Josh Holloway.

From: imdb.com

What’s a perfect way to ruin a nice set of Jennifer Aniston bikini pictures? Put John Mayer’s douchey face in them. Yes, that’s right, if you haven’t heard yet, the guy who has had sex with Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Cameron Diaz (supposedly), and maybe even Mandy Moore, is now having sex with Jennifer Aniston.

Personally, I don’t get it. Apparently the ladies think he’s good looking, and like that he sings stupid songs. But to all us guys, he’s just a lucky douchebag. It’s okay, you’re allowed to hate him. Now, where did I put my guitar…?

Cick here to see more pics of these two enjoying the sun… Yeah and pics of John enjoying her!