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Topless - There be Nonsense Here

A showcase of nonsense

Archive for the ‘Topless’ Category


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Ashley Dupre is currently suing Joe Francis for $10 million claiming she was tricked into filming for Girls Gone Wild. Being the saint that he is, and I wholeheartedly mean that, Joe put his $1 million offer back on the table for Ashley. All she has to do is tour with Girls Gone Wild and help promote their new magazine, according to NY Daily News:

“She should keep in mind it’s considerably more than the governor of New York paid her, and our activities aren’t illegal,” Joe Francis said. He said Ashley Alexandra Dupré has “zero” chance of winning her lawsuit, adding that yesterday’s offer was not a ploy to get her to drop the suit.

To back up his claims that Ashley’s lawsuit is a lost cause, Joe Francis released a video today that shows her on camera giving her consent to Girls Gone Wild and was not “tricked,” as she claims:

In a video released Tuesday by Francis, Dupré appears covered by a terrycloth towel and gives her name as Amber Arpaio. An unseen questioner asks if she is 18.
“Yes, I am,” she says.
“Do you know what ‘Girls Gone Wild’ is?” the questioner asks.
“Yes, I do,” she replies with a laugh.
“Can I use this on ‘Girls Gone Wild’?” she is asked.
“Of course you can,” she answers.

Seriously, if I were Ashley Dupre I’d take Joe Francis’ offer. There’s not a lot of work out there for high-profile prostitute. I mean, except for high-profile prostituting. Which I hear is a decent living. She should really look into that. Maybe scope out the benefits package and see what kind of advancement opportunities they provide. Remember, kids, an informed employee is a good employee. And that’s one to grow on!

Thanks to James who thinks hookers deserve 401k’s too. He’s good people.

Click here to see the creativity! Like i said kinda NSFW

Han Solo and Princess Leia knocked space boots - for real! Apparently, Harrison Ford got a hold of Carrie Fisher’s cinnamon buns and gave her a bit of The Force during the making of the first Star Wars film. Here’s what Carrie revealed on an upcoming British TV special, according to The Sun:

“I went on the film saying ‘I’m going to have an affair’, like it was a kiwi, an exotic fruit — because I’d never had one!” She adds: “I had a crush on Harrison for sure. Harrison is great fun when he’s had a few drinks.”
Shaking her head and saying: “I’m going to get in so much trouble,” she adds: “Once I left the room and came back and he was in the closet not wearing a lot of clothes.”

For all you Star Wars geeks out there, this means that Harrison and Carrie had what grown-ups call “a special hug.” You see, when a man loves a woman, or drinks enough gin, he feels the urge to put his penis into her vagina. Okay, I lost you didn’t I? Um, alright, got it: The man wants to put his “lightsaber” into a woman’s “Sarlacc pit.” But, don’t worry; there’re no tentacles or giant teeth. Well, sometimes. That’s where the gin comes in handy…

Thanks to veggi for the tip. May the Schwartz be with you!

Keeley-hazell-music-video

Keeley Hazell is probably best known for having the best boobs in Britain, but now she wants to proove she’s got a set of lungs to match. Yes, that’s right, everyone’s favourite topless model now wants a singing career. Check out her debut single entitled “Voyeur,” a none too subtle reference to her day job where she gets naked.

So can she sing? Well, these days, all you need is a microphone and a copy of ProTools, and anyone can sing. Especially if they’re really just talking the lyrics like Keeley does. But with lyrics like “Your eyes are good to me,” and “I don’t care, you can stare” it doesn’t really matter what she’s saying.

Thankfully she hasn’t forgotten her roots. From sexy lingerie and leather outfits, to dancing on stripper poles, this video has just about everything you’d expect from a Keeley Hazell music video, including some nice close ups of her greatest talents.

Keeley Hazell Music VideoWatch the Video:

Keeley Hazell “Voyeur” Music Video

Of course, it’s not like Keeley doesn’t have any experience in the Pop world. In fact, she did her best impressions of Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and Madonna for ZOO magazine. And by best impression, I mean topless, of course. Check out ZOO for lots more Keeley pics.

[NSFW] Click here to see the ZOO pics of Keeley Hazell posing naked as Briteny, Madona and Christina

Miley-cyrus-nude-topless-01

Here is the alleged Miley Cyrus nude / topless picture. The photo has been censored because we won’t be showing you naked 15-year-olds on this site. We believe this story, and the photo in question are newsworthy. We have not been confirmed if this is or is not Miley Cyrus but we knew you would like to see this!

Mischa-barton-topless-video

Mischa Barton’s new movie, Closing the Ring is the gift that keeps on giving. We’ve already seen one Mischa Barton nude video from this movie, and now we’ve got a Mischa Barton topless video. In this scene, Mischa’s getting it on with some blonde dude in a half built house. I guess it’s probably true that buff contruction worker guys get more girls than pale blogger types. Oh well.

Yeah im getting the pics soon.. gimme a minute

Miley Cyrus gettin’ slutty, not even 18!

Apr 21, 2008 Author: admin | Filed under: Celebrity, Topless

Miley-cyrus-bra

Oh my, Miley Cyrus is at it again. We’ve seen Miley Cyrus flashing her panties, and before that we saw some “Scandalous” Miley Cyrus bikini pictures, and now we’ve got Miley Cyrus flashing her bra. You know, just for the fun of it.

Also pictured is the 15-year-old star getting cozy with what most teenage boys would call one lucky SOB. I mean, move that hand a couple inches over, and these pictures would be causing a much bigger commotion. Thankfully, everything here’s PG-13 at the most. But let me tell you, once this girl hits 18, there will be absolutely no stopping her.

Miley-cyrus-bra-02Miley-cyrus-bra-03

Ab14cthumb

Well, even though she sucked, America voted to keep Antonella Barba on American Idol, so she’ll be around a little longer. Now she sucks twice as much.

We received an email this morning from someone who prefers to remain anonymous:

Here are two pictures of Antonella Barba giving someone a blow job. These are real — I know the guy in the picture. Notice her nose, eyebrows and teeth — you can confirm it’s her by comparing facial feature details to other known pictures.” 
I didn’t think it could get much better than pictures of her on the toilet and hanging out topless and underage drinking, but I guess I was wrong. People sure don’t seem to care whether or not she can sing. They just vote for her anyway. Next week she could walk out on stage, deep throat her microphone, take a bow and walk off without letting the judges say a word, and she’d still get a standing ovation.

 

PICTURES After the Jump…

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Miranda Kerr doing the Topless

Apr 20, 2008 Author: admin | Filed under: Celebrity, Topless

Miranda-kerr-nude

If you like Supermodels, which I think you do, then you probably like Miranda Kerr, the super cute new Victoria’s Secret model. So it also stands to reason that you will probably enjoy these Miranda Kerr nude pictures as well. If not, there really isn’t much I can do for you.

NSFW Images after the jump

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